12/15/2013

+Soon Is Christmas+

Howdy!

I've been real quiet around my blog lately. Christmas is keeping me busy and awful things have happened to me lately. I am not quite sure how I have energy to still do things, but for my blog I have had ideas but not enough energy. I apologize for that. A lot of topics are gonna be on their ways before new year and till that I will do my best to get back in the game!

Shortly, I had to quit my job because of my criminal boss, I am currently having a flue and my grandmother is in such bad shape that she may not see the year 2014. She is in her ages of 91 in a week. Her heart is letting go and she is terrified where will she spend the rest of her days.

Last time I lost someone was almost 13 years ago, my dearest grandfather. He always felt like the father for me and for his war records I was always real proud. It's been so many years, and when it happened I was real young, but I still shed a tear or two almost every other day. I miss him so badly. I know it's grandma's time to go, I have been well aware of that for years now. Still I know how this is gonna feel for my mother. She is going to loose the last parent of hers and I feel how it takes all out of her. This unstable times, all time afraid when will be the time, and yet it all happens under Christmas. Christmas was never that good for us anyway. I wonder will we even celebrate it after this. A reminder of the awful day every year. Well Christmas has always been only about presents to us, me and mom. I have always wanted to celebrate it with Nori, but every year she leaves to be together with her own family and leaves me here for 4 days. At times like this I wished she wouldn't, but I can't ask her to ruin her own Holidays for to stay here being upset with me. I know Christmas is way more important to my in-laws than for me. I still wish this all wouldn't happen just now. This fall has been so full of fear and sorrow already and now this..

To cheer up this post a little, I share a few Christmas preparation pictures I have taken so far. 
Today I'm gonna take my first steps to the wild after 4 whole days inside the house!

 Merry Christmas!

11 comments:

  1. Ihania kuvia! :3 Haluun noi lakanat... >3<

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jättääkö noi kisut kuusen rauhaan? :D ja saanko kysyä että kumman työsi jouduit jättämään ja miksi :C

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kuusi ei kiinnosta, mutta 100€ stockan joulupallot kylläkin! :'((

      Delete
  3. Voi Miki! Paljon jaksamista sulle ♥ nähdään tässä joku päivä, keksitään jotain piristävää!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kiitos Sally! Ensi viikolla piristytään kunhan räkä antaa sijaa että ääni kulkee :D

      Delete
  4. Sorry, but how is your boss criminal? I've been following you for quite a while (since royal monster) and I've noticed that you change workplaces a lot and always cry afterwards that your boss is either bullying you/ mean/ criminal, etc. I'm not judging you any way since I've worked in many places trough the years, but that's been my own choice.

    However I am sorry that you're going trough difficult times, I know what it is to watch your grandparents go trough their final moments. :(

    Can't you go with Nori?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I quit the job at Luca. The owner behaved very uncomfortably close and harassment like towards me and I can't stand if unknown people get on my skin. He was real unprofessional and told me nasty things. I had to quit. I have had a terrible luck with my working places, not including photography cases as I am a freelancer. I come from a bullied background and it makes me real defencive when it comes to people treat me with no justice. It's complicated but on the top I am just real unlucky. I don't know how to explain it better, but bosses have a problem with my spirit that is either too excited and active or then too passive and angry. I can't work under anyone so now it's my time to move on to try something else, I won't let people hurt me anymore, finding a new way from now on :)

      And no I can't since I can't leave mother alone.

      Delete
    2. That sounds nasty. I've worked in all men environment and faced some minor harassment, so I get that. Some people just don't know what proper boundaries are! >:( I think it's good that you stand up for yourself, not too many people have guts to do that. I hope that you can achieve your dreams as a freelancer. (And lets hope that your luck turns?)



      Delete
  5. Minulla on samankaltainen tilanne perhepiirissä, joten ymmärrän hyvin, jos ei ole juurikaan joulumieltä :( Toisaalta, jouluhan on vain yksi päivä muiden joukossa. Ei siitä kannata ainakaan ottaa mitään stressiä.

    Tsemppiä! <3 Ex-työnantajasi kuulostaa myös aika mulkerolta...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kiitos~Voimia sinne myös kovasti!
      Sitäpä se olikin. Ja on. Toivottavasti jättää muut ihmiset rauhaan..

      Delete

Please leave a comment ! ♥
Blogin ylläpitäjä poistaa asiattomaksi katsomansa kommentit välittömästi.